Good manners are the oil that makes our lives run smoothly, and they are needed at the poker table as much as - no, more than - anywhere else.
While the great game of poker can be a way of making money, its main purpose is to provide players with a pleasurable experience - to be fun. And it can't be fun if even one of the people you are playing with is rude, offensive, insulting or defiant of either set of rules, of the game and of politeness.
Of course, newcomers might not always know what these rules are, so here is a list, primarily for them. But, even if you are a regular player or hardened pro, please read them: it may be that you may find your own behavior listed as obnoxious. And you might even decide to change it:
Do...
...always be polite: you are among friends and potential friends.
...apologise when you act out of turn or make any other mistake (everyone stumbles at some time or another, just try to keep it to a minimum, and say sorry when you do).
...ask the dealer if you don't know a rule (but try not to give your hand away when you do). Everyone at the table had the same problem when they began playing.
...be alert, watch the game, know when it's your turn. Playing out of turn is a clear signal to your opponents that your mind is somewhere else, not on the game, and they will take advantage of that.
...check out the minimum buy-in; players sitting down without it are the cause of too many disputes.
...deal and discard carefully so that you don't reveal the cards.
...enquire before you smoke, when a table is formed, even when smoking is permitted: there may be a simple reshuffle of seats that puts the smokers together and doesn't upset the non-smokers.
...hide your cards from other players and kibitizers.
...leave your cards on the table: holding them up against you is illegal, as is showing them to kibitzers. Learn to look at them by slightly bending the corner to see what they are, not lifting them right up. And leave your chips on the table, too, even if you are going to away for a while: they won't be stolen.
...listen to your IPod or whatever, if you must, but make sure you can hear everything being said a the table and give the game your absolute priority.
...play as quickly as you can; you're going to have to make up your mind sooner or later, and sooner is better.
...protect your cards as they are dealt to you, by putting your hand or some heavy little lucky charm on them. But don't look a them one at a time as they are dealt - wait until you have received your dull quota of cards.
...remember that silence is always preferable to comment, jokes, chatter, song, or any other diversion.
...."show one, show all": you are required to open your hand to the whole table if you choose to show it to one player; "show one show both" (if turning over one card, turn the other one over, too) is not a rule but doing so avoids your looking like a teasing jerk.
...shuffle fast and short, or shuffle off to Buffalo.
...speak up if an error is being made in decisions or pots. Far from being nosey, it's your duty (but be sure of your facts!).
...tip the dealer, where permitted (in the US it's OK, as it is in British cardrooms but not casinos; it varies elsewhere).
DON'T...
...blame the dealer for your hand - or anything else. He or she is under pressure and under paid. Rude remarks are bad enough, chucking your cards at him or her should get you barred.
...boast or moan during a hand - it can often be helpful to one or more of those still playing (it's better not to do so after the hand, either).
...comment on the hand while it is still in progress. This is actually illegal in most of Europe, if not in the US. Be particularly careful not to point out possible (or actual) straights and flushes on the board..
...give advice or expect it from others. "One player to a hand" is the rule. And don't show your cards during play to a folded neighbor or a kibitzer.
...hide your chips: it is illegal to bet with concealed chips. Keep the higher denominations towards the table, so that everyone can see how much you have left.
...incite a player to call, raise or fold, whether you are in the hand or not; it's the height of bad manners.
...indulge in post-mortems and bad beat stories. Nobody wants to know, even if they pretend to, out of politeness.
....make string bets. All your action has to be in one movement: it's always better to say "Raise" before doing anything with your hands otherwise you risk your raise being disallowed if you do so in two stages.
...mess up the cards: if you eat at the table, use a fork. And if you fiddle with your cards, don't leave one of them bent or even the slightest bit marked. Other players may think you are a professional cheat.
...put chips in your pocket - you must reveal how much you are playing with. And never take them with you when you leave the card-room, it's actually against tournament rules.
...show your hand, except when you are called. Otherwise, during the game it's illegal (being helpful to those still playing). After the hand, it's either boastful or nebbish. It can only reveal your pattern of play, even if you think you are building a misleading image.
...sing, chatter or tell jokes (even good ones) or otherwise make a fool of yourself. You may not realise it but you are suffering from a form of Tourette's Syndrome, where the afflicted are unable to stop themselves from talking out loud.
...slow-roll your hand. Nobody wants be kept in suspense while you turn it up one card at a time: turn it over quickly and neatly.
..."splash the pot" - that's throwing your chips into it, so that other players have to ask whether you have raised, and by how much. You might think it's insouciant, actually it's thoughtless.
...swear. It's always offensive to someone.
...talk on your cellphone when you are supposed to be playing. Nobody wants to hear your conversation. Everybody wants you to pay attention to the game.
...tell a loser how they should have played. Not only is it arrogant, it is silly to educate someone who might make the mistake again, to your profit.
...touch another player's cards or chips except when he is absent from the table and must ante or fold.
...try to change your call after you have made it. If you say "raise" you've got to raise, even if you didn't realise there was already a raise - it's your responsibility to pay attention.
...turn over undealt cards in the deck after a hand, to see what you would have had (or ask the dealer to do so). It holds up the game and is invariably disappointing.
AND, ONLINE...
Don't ask for email addresses or offer yours. That can get you barred.
Don't complain about slow players. The delay could well be in a poor connection.
Don't collude, like raising a friend (or yourself on another computer) to a dizzy amount in order to force out a third player; website detectives are watching.
Don't create extra accounts. It can get all your accounts frozen.

Royal Flush Ace, King, Queen, Jack and Ten - of the same suit. The probability of making this hand is 650,000/1. The is an unbeatable hand in Texas Hold Em

Straight Flush Nine, Ten, Jack, Queen, King (best straight flush) through to Ace, Two, Three, Four, Five (worst straight flush) - of the same suit. The probability of making this hand is 72,000/1. The next step down from the Royal Flush is the Straight Flush, almost impossible to beat if you consider the odds but it isn't unknown for a straight flush to lose to a better straight flush, for example: Two, Three, Four, Five, Six would lose to Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight.

4 of a kind Any four matching cards. Such as Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace (best four of a kind) through to Two, Two, Two, Two (worst four of a kind). The probability of making this hand is 4100/1. Another super strong hand that will only be taken down by the Straight Flush, Royal Flush or better Four of a kind such as Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Ace losing to Ace, Ace, Ace, Ace, King.

Full House Has two of a kind and three of a kind in the same hand, for example - King King, Ace, Ace, Ace. (best full house) through to Three, Three, Two, Two, Two (worst full house). The probability of making this hand is 700/1. A powerful hand, however Full Houses do sometimes lose to better Full Houses or even Four of a kind. Ten, Ten, Ten, Nine, Nine losing to Jack, Jack, Jack, Ten, Ten for example.

Flush Any five cards of the same suit, some examples are: Nine, Jack, Queen, King, Ace of hearts - Two, Three, Four, Five, Seven of clubs - Two, Five, Eight, Jack, Ace of diamonds. The probability of making this hand is 500/1. There is always a chance of losing your flush hand to a better flush. Should the community cards contain a pair then you run the risk of losing to a Full House or Four of a kind. Same suit community cards in close proximity to each other, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine for example, increases the chances of a Straight Flush being made. One flush losing to another could be, Ace, King, Ten, Six, Two losing to Ace, King, Jack, Six, Two - The Jack beating the Ten.

Straight Any five connecting cards, for example - Ace, Two, Three, Four, Five (worst straight) through to Ten, Jack, Queen, King, Ace (best straight). The probability of making this hand is 255/1. Straights can often lose to higher straights. If the community cards pair, the risk of a Full House and Four of a kind is also apparent. Should three cards of the same suit be amongst the community cards the Straight faces a Flush danger. A straight losing to a higher straight would look something like this, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine losing to Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten.

3 of a kind Any three matching cards, some examples are - Ace, Ace, Ace, King, Queen - Eight, Eight, Eight, Two, Jack. The probability of making this hand is 47/1. If the community cards show no Straight or Flush dangers, Three of a kind of a strong hand to hold. If your Three of a Kind is the best possible from the community cards, you are in a great position. If there is the possibility of a higher three of a kind, you may lose out like this - Ten, Ten, Ten, Six, Two losing to Queen, Queen, Queen, Six, Two.
Two pairs for example - Ace, Ace, King, King, Queen (best two pairs) through to Two, Two, Three, Three, Four (worst two pairs) The probability of making this hand is 21/1. Two pairs will often lose out to Three or even Four of a kind. If the community cards show a pair the risk of a Full House beating your hand is more apparent. A higher two pairs will beat your two pairs, for example - King, King, Jack, Jack, Ace would lose to Ace, Ace, Five, Five, King - despite the fact the Aces and Fives contain a weak pair of Fives, the Aces are the highest pair of the four pairs here and would win the hand.

A pair Any two matching cards, for example - Ace, Ace, Jack, Ten, Nine. The probability of making this hand is 2.4/1. More common, the pair runs the risk of losing to a whole host of other hands and should be played with caution. Should you have Four, Four, Jack, Queen, King you would still lose to a hand containing Seven, Seven, Eight, Nine, Jack. The Sevens being the highest pair. Often the "kicker card" is used when two players share the same pair, for example, Ace, Ace, Nine, Ten, Queen (A pair of Aces, Queen high) would lose to Ace, Ace, Nine, Ten, King (A pair of Aces, King high) The King being a higher kicker card than the Queen.

High card The highest card in your hand once all the community cards have been dealt, If you have King, Queen in your pocket cards and the community cards show Jack, Nine, Eight, Two, Six - Your high card is a K. Ace is the best high card and Two the worst. Very rarely will a high card alone win a hand unless in heads-up play (two players only) and even then should be played with extreme caution. An example of one high card beating another could be, Eight, Seven, Six, Four, Three beating a hand containing Seven, Six, Five, Four, Two. Eight high beating Seven high.

In almost every form of poker, you're trying to make the best five card hand.

For example, in Hold 'em, you have pocket fives.

The board is King-King-Queen-Queen-Two

What is your hand?

You have Kings and Queens with a Five kicker (your pair of fives no longer matters, just one of the fives as your 'kicker' as it is better than the two on the board).

Seven card stud:

Say you have Ace-King-Queen-Ten-Nine-Eight- Five, all of clubs.

Your opponent has Ace-King-Queen-Ten-Nine of hearts and a Three and a Four of another suit.

Who wins?

It's a chop, as each of your best five card hands are the same: Ace-King-Queen-Ten-Nine. The fact that you have more cards to your flush than your opponent and that your 6th and 7th cards are bigger than his 6th and 7th doesn't matter.

Best five card hand.

Half the people on average fold after the first three cards. Seldom do you have everyone going to the river card. However, if that happens, instead of everyone getting dealt a down card, a community card can be used -- face-up, that everyone has access to (almost like in hold 'em). This is how they can deal 7-card stud as an 8-handed game -- and this option almost never comes into play.

Pre-1600 First Games: Card games in both France - Gilet - and Italy - Primero - had elements of what we now know as poker: betting on hands with pairs, three of a kind, and three of the same suit.
1600-1790 Evolution: These games spread and evolved into Brag in England, Pochen (Germany), and Poque (France). They even had elements of bluffing, and the names of the German and French versions are obviously very close to the word "Poker". In the German game, players would indicate whether they wanted to pass or open by rapping on the table and saying, "Ich Poche!" However, there a school of thought that claims the Hindu word, pukka, as the origin of poker, and certainly the "pukka sahibs" (the white rulers) in India certainly played a version of such a game.
1790-1830 Poque: In French-speaking New Orleans, sailors from Persia taught the French settlers the gambling card game, ?s, which was derived from the ancient Persian game of ?s Nas. This required a special deck of 25 cards with 5 suits (5 cards per suit total) and was played by four people. The settlers absorbed some of the elements of this game into their own game of Poque, saying, "I poque (pronounced, as the French do, in two syllables - po-que) for a dollar," or "I poque against you for two dollars." The evolving game became known first as "Poqas" , then "Pokah".and finally "Poker".
We can probably ignore other speculation about the name, such as its coming from "poke," a term used by pickpockets, or "hocus-pocus", a term used by conjurors.
1829 - New Orleans: A reference in the diary of English actor Joseph Crowell records that there was a game being played on the steamboat Helen M'Gregor, bound for New Orleans, in which each player received five cards and made bets - then whoever held the highest combination of cards won all bets. He says it had been invented by the politician Henry Clay and was founded on brag. The steamboats carried the game up the Mississippi and Ohio rivers. From the river towns, the game spread east by the new railroad and west by covered wagons. There was just one round of betting. Players were dealt five cards face down and there was no draw of cards.
1834 - The "Cheating Game": Jonathan H. Green, professional gambler turned reformer, makes one of the earliest written references to poker in 1834. He referred to it as the "cheating game," which was then being played on Mississippi riverboats. He called it Poker.
The game he described was played with 20 cards, using only the aces, kings, queens, jacks and tens. Two to four people could play, and each was dealt five cards, the best hand dealt won, and it surpassed Three-Card Monte in popularity. Suckers no longer taken by Three-Card Monte thought the 20-card poker seemed more a legitimate game.
1837 - Straights and Flushes: added to the game, along with a 52-card deck, which enabled more than four people to play at a time.
1848 - Gold Rush: thousands of prospectors trekked west, taking the game with them
1850 - Wild cards: Poker was transformed by their introduction.
1861 - Stud and Draw: The Civil War caused a dramatic explosion in the popularity of poker, thousands of soldiers playing the game in barracks across the North and South. The Civil War also spread significant modifications, such as draw and stud. By the war's end, poker had become America's favorite card game, played wherever two or more men and a deck of cards could be found. Changes of cards made several rounds of betting possible and increased the element of skill. Bluffing became an important part of the game.
1872 - Rules established: Poker was taken back to Europe when Robert C. Schenck, U.S. minister to Great Britain, introduced it to members of the court of Queen Victoria at a royal party. A set of rules written by Schenck at the request of 'a noted English duchess" became the first book on the game when she had it printed and distributed to her friends.
1870 - Jackpot Poker: Jackpots (jacks-or-better to open) introduced to prevent players with inferior cards being drawn into dangerous pots. The joker was introduced as a wild card in 1875.
1880 - Texas Hold'em invented: among the many variations of the game, this is the one that triumphed as the game of choice for the high rollers, and thus imposed on the whole poker-playing community.
1896 - "Poker Chips": the first magazine devoted to the game published.
1903 - Split-Pot Low Ball: Low and high-low games introduced.
1909 - Bill against Fools: Two Missouri assemblymen (Coran and Lyles) introduced a bill to the state legislature to control and license poker players in order to prevent "millions of dollars lost annually by incompetent and foolish persons who do not know the value of a poker hand."
1911 - Boom of Draw Games: In 1911, California's attorney general (Harold Sigel Webb) ruled that closed poker (draw poker) was a game of skill and beyond anti-gambling laws. But open poker (stud poker) was a game of chance and therefore illegal. That stimulated the development of new draw games and the use of wild cards.
1925 - Community Cards: Texas Hold'em and Omaha spread from those states, gradually eclipsing earlier forms of the game.
1930 - Poker enters the language. The ubiquity of the game is reflected in the number of phrases from it entering everyday speech, even among non-players. Ace in the hole, beats me, blue chip, call the bluff, cash in, pass the buck, poker face, stack up, up the ante, when the chips are down and wild card pass into everyday conversation.
1938 - Britain's Prohibition: the Lord Chief Justice declared poker to be a game of chance, and it was not legalized in clubs until the 1960s. Poker continued to played privately in the UK and was alternatively known as "Bluff". In 1960 it was legalized in clubs who could make a charge but not take a rake. It was later allowed to be played in casinos.
1965 - The Cincinnati Kid: Hollywood spread the game around the world with this film, introducing many people who had never played it to its delights and excitements.
1970 - World Series of Poker (WSOP): first played at Binions Horseshoe in Las Vegas. The game was Texas Hold'em, which had by now become dominant. The winner was declared poker world champion. Significantly, four of the nine men who won the title in its first twelve years were Texans.
1978 - SuperSystem: "Super/System: A Course in Power Poker'', by Doyle Brunson, in conjunction with several of the other top professional players of the day revolutionized the study of the game.
2000 - Television and Internet: regular televising of tournaments (particularly with the use of glass-topped tables so that viewers could see players' cards) and the establishment of online poker rooms brought poker out of the casinos and card-rooms and into people's homes.
2003 - World Poker Tour: this televised series brought the worlds of casino poker and television together, using a tiny camera to see players' hole cards. Its prize pool in 2004 was a record $8m.
2004 - Speed Poker: the exponential spread of Online Poker made cardroom poker seem slow, and the first World Speed Poker Championships were held in Tallinn, Estonia. Players were given 15 seconds to act.

PokerTips.org also has a Poker History Section